‘They take up your entire bed’: 12 signs dachshunds are the evil geniuses of the dog world.

Dachshunds have a primary position. Usually it’s on a table or couch. While the furniture may change, one things doesn’t.

Their positioning in front of the window.

They keep watch because they are also the neighbourhood watch of the dog world.

They peek through curtains and blinds and know what everyone is doing and why. Always.

10. They will play outside when you send them to the toilet and take a dump in the house later.

You let your dachshund outside to do their business but all they want to do is sniff, assess and pretend like you’re not watching them.

They always have one eye on you, but will pretend like you do not exist.

This will go on for extended lengths of time.

“They don’t need to go,” you assure yourself.

You let them inside and close the door.

I guarantee within approximately one minute, you have a turd in your bedroom.

Just good luck finding it.

11. They think you’re an awful driver and they should be given the steering wheel.

dachshund miniature black and tan
Dachshunds will be driving cars one day. Image: Supplied.

If your dachshund could be driving you around instead of visa versa, they would.

It’s just their paws are just too damn small and they can’t get their tiny legs around the wheel.

But oh, that won’t stop them from trying.

12. They have somehow learnt to bark at a decibel that probably hasn’t been recorded yet.

Surely it is impossible for such a small dog to bark louder than a full sized one?

But somehow, dachshunds have discovered a way to bark at a range that is higher than all other dog breeds.

A sausage dog could probably communicate with a sausage dog on the other side of the world.

It’s all part of their plan. Their plan for world domination.

Beware humans, the dachshunds are coming.

When did you discover your dachshund was an evil genius?

credit: mamamia.com.au

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